Movie Virgins

Morbius

We're back, baby! And we have for you, dear listener, a VERY SPECIAL EPISODE because we watched Morbius. And wow. Just wow. Lindsey breaks down the science behind this humdinger of a Marvel-vampire (?) flick. Leah has a few things to say about Jordan Catalano's 50-year-old bod (hubba, hubba). And we have so very many questions about the rules: the rules of vampires, the rules of bats, and in particular, the rules of this movie. So, take a listen. The power of the bat compels you!

Spring Breakers

We're one year into the pandy, and this is what breaks Lindsey: Harmony Korine's Spring Breakers. (Fact: This is Tarantino's fave film from 2013. Also fact: Tarantino has a dick.) Is it a love story? Is it a tragedy? Either way, Leah found it to be beautiful Shakespearean chaos and Lindsey found it to be trash. Tangents include stoner party rules, the truth about critics, Dave Franco vs James Franco, and stickup methodologies. Sprang break, forevah.

Nomadland

In this VERY SPECIAL EPISODE, we describe our first encounters with a film that is a mix of fiction and documentary fact. While that can be a bit off-putting, it doesn't much detract from the beauty and meaningfulness of Chloe Zhao's Nomadland. The lifestyles and people portrayed in this film are quite different from our understanding of #vanlife as depicted by millennial influencers. This is the story of a seemingly forgotten generation, a story of community lost and found, that spans the sublime and dangerous American West.

 

Mentioned in this episode:

"Nomadland is a real human story that's not over yet" by Adrienne Westenfeld

https://www.esquire.com/entertainment/movies/a35538486/nomadland-fern-true-story-jessica-bruder-linda-bob-swankie-now/

Tails of Wanderlust blog https://tailsofwanderlust.com/

Destination Wedding

Keanu and Winona are together again in this delightful film about a joyless turd and a neurotic spinster finding love at a destination wedding. Full of witty dialogue and biting humor, the film turns all our favorite rom-com tropes into laugh-out-loud moments, including a sex scene that makes the Movie Virgins' top three (just behind Border and The Bronze). Leah defends Keanu's acting abilities, and Lindsey recalls Winona's best performances. Tangents include Dane Cook, spending money to fill the void, the optics of screw-top wine, and our top quarantine shows (ie, what's getting us through) after almost a year of this shit.

Bridesmaids

Welcome to our first ESKIMO SISTERS episode, wherein we discuss our shared carnal knowledge of a film that we both have…experienced. Our first go-round is with Bridesmaids, a movie we have adored for nearly a decade. We talk about why we love the film so much: Melissa McCarthy's breakout performance, the realistic portrayal of female friendships, and how the coming-of-age story of a 30-something woman really resonated with us. We also dig into how this compares to The Hangover, as well as whether women can be both desirable and raunchy. Tangents include Jon Hamm as a character actor, the way to Lindsey's heart, and our worst cases of food poisoning. Lastly, we answer this burning question: Do people change or do they stay the same?

Less Than Zero

Less Than Zero, based Bret Easton Ellis' first novel, is a perfect encapsulation of 80s disaffected youth and the LA party scene. Robert Downey Jr.'s portrayal of a drug addict is impressive, but it can't save the film from Andrew McCarthy's milquetoast leading man and the objectively terrible ending. For the record, Tawny Kitaen is not in this movie, but Jami Gertz is. And James Spader does his 80s villain thing. Tangents include Tom Cruise's MI7 COVID rant, incestuous friend groups, PEN15, Grand Army, and appropriate sleepwear.

Wonder Woman 1984

Spoilers abound in this VERY SPECIAL EPISODE where we travel back in time - back to the 80s - to discuss our initial reactions to Wonder Woman 1984. And guess what? We didn't hate it. But it did give us a lot of things to think on: the varied portrayals of female and male superheroes, the unfortunate treatment of Kristen Wiig's Barbara Minerva/Cheetah, Wonder Woman's origins, Chris motherfuckin' Pine, and Wonder Woman's wardrobe. Tangents include: how the hell to pronounce Gal Gadot's last name, great hair days of our pasts, Teen Mom 2, and watching from home vs watching in the theater.

Bad Santa

Fuck me, Santa! Lindsey and Leah share their feelings, fears, and Santa fetishes while they dish on 2003's Bad Santa. Billy Bob Thornton's Golden Globe-nominated performance as a career criminal mall Santa is peppered with so many delicious and dastardly moments. We've also got lots of love for Tony Cox, Bernie Mac, and John Ritter. Tangents include Lindsey's hate for youths and West County moms, best places to retire from a life of crime, mall Santa stories, favorite Christmas movies, and Fraggle stick car.

Sense and Sensibility

Leah introduces Lindsey to Ang Lee's pastoral masterpiece Sense and Sensibility. Emma Thompson's Oscar-winning screenplay is based on Jane Austen's novel of the same name, so there's some discussion of Austen and the Austen hive. But of course, we turn our attentions to the great question asked by this film: Is it better to involve oneself in polite affections or to be consumed by fiery love affairs? Furthermore, Hugh Grant has never looked better, that bitch of a cunt of a bitch Fanny is a wonderful villain, and Alan Rickman's Colonel Brandon makes Willoughby look like a chump. Lastly, if you take anything away from this episode, let it be that piracy is our only option.

The Virgin Suicides

The Lisbon sisters are a mysterious mystery to all the boys. Their parents are so strict! The youngest killed herself! And…they menstruate! Real talk: These girls are head-to-toe basic, from their messy bedrooms to their homemade prom dresses. Quiet, introspective Cecilia was the only one in the bunch worth a second look. Unfortunately, she's dead, and the others will follow suit like a bunch of lemmings over a cliff. Tangents include: first date stories, Sofia Coppola beefs, Kirsten Dunst beefs, and Josh Harnett's moley mole. *Tripp Fontaine whisper voice* You're a stone fox.